The only reason anyone can be reading this post right now is the fact I will I have had my weight loss surgery. I have decided to keep it a secret from most people because I am not 100% certain it will happen until I actually wake up from the operation so until then I will just keep quiet.
My intention for doing my blog are still the same as previously. I want to chronicle my personal journey regarding an issue that has impacted my life so greatly but I also truly hope in my heart that I can perhaps reach someone else who walks in shoes similar to mine and have them know someone understands, really understands the mind battles, the physical discomforts and issues that go with being a morbidly obese person.
Lots has happened in the last year. Since I last posted my daughter, Lara, had whooping cough and was a very sick child and life became a blur of no sleep whilst I watched over her, cleaned up vomit and watched as she struggled for every breath. Thank goodness that passed after three months but by then I was in a vicious battle with my ex, I was financially destitute and struggling with the basics of survival of providing food and shelter for my children and I. A severely restrictive diet was just something I couldn’t handle when the basics of my life were under such threat. I guess it wasn’t the right time.
Then I continued to be sick. I didn’t see the pattern at first – you know how you can become so tied up in your own wee world you lose the bigger picture? It turned out my infection hadn’t been fixed and I was regularly falling ill (quite severely with associated heart issues as well) then I would go on antibiotics, get well for a couple of weeks and then the cycle would start all over again. Finally at the beginning of February my doctor and I agreed I needed to go back to my surgeon and that the mesh in my stomach was still infected and would need removing. She classed me as a high priority and I was given an appointment for in six weeks. As a friend in the US said “Does imminent death mean you only wait one month with our socialized healthcare?”.
When I finally had my appointment with my surgeon he said the surgical mesh needed to be removed but there would be a high chance that I would re-herniate again so I really needed to have the gastric sleeve done at the same time. Did I hear correctly? The gastric sleeve done? It was true. I was going to have two operations at once and both in the public system so I didn’t have to cover any costs. I was stunned. Not so excited as there was this real fear that I might wake up from the operation and find the weight loss surgery hadn’t been done.
I ended up waiting seven long, long months. Getting sicker all the time. House bound, unable to do things with the kids. No money. Life was hard, it was miserable. But finally I got a date for surgery and as I write this I have had the surgery. I need to do a few posts retrospectively to catch up on some things that have happened and then we can move forward as I walk this new path that I am now on.